Today on the show, I want to do something a bit different. This episode is going to be a bit longer than usual. I’m going to take you behind the scenes of one of our Accelerator coaching program calls.
For today’s show, we’re going to listen in on a call between our resident coaching expert, Neill Williams, and one of our Accelerator program members.
Neill’s a master life coach, specializing in all things mindset, including money mindset.
What you’re going to hear today is very common among online entrepreneurs. It’s something that I also struggled with for years. We’re going to hear our member share his thoughts about some discouragement he’s feeling related to his business.
He runs a really successful membership business, and has been implementing a lot of changes to grow that business. Some things are working, and others are not.
You’re going to hear Neill coach him through his doubts and insecurities about himself and his business. There are a lot of helpful insights and coaching advice to glean from their conversation, and I’m very thankful to our member for his willingness to let you listen in.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- Overcoming insecurity as an entrepreneur
- Niell’s tips for dealing with churn
- Breaking the cycle of recurring negative feelings
- How to keep your business’ progress and your sense of self-worth separate
- Mindset strategies to help you stay motivated
Links & Resources:
- DM me on Instagram
- Visit my YouTube channel
- The Art of Online Business clips
- The Art of Online Business website
- The Art of Online Business Podcast website
- Check out my Accelerator coaching program
Neill Williams’ Links:
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Alright. Welcome back to the show, my friend. I hope all is going well. Thank you so much, as always, for tuning in today.
I want to do something a little bit different on today’s quick tip. This episode’s going to be a little bit of a longer episode today. I want to take you behind the scenes of a coaching call within our Accelerator coaching program.
This is something that I want to do a little bit more of here on the show, and take you behind the scenes.
This is a coaching call between one of our members and Neill Williams, who is one of our resident expert Accelerator coaches. She’s also a master life coach. Neill specializes on all things mindset, including money mindset.
She specializes also in productivity and business coaching. Every other Monday inside of Accelerator, Neill has a coaching call where any of our members can attend and talk about whatever’s on their mind. Whatever’s coming up for them on the other Mondays.
By the way, those are calls with me where I do teachings and presentations, and I also do hot seats, a lot of hot seats.
So, I want to share this call with you because what you’re going to hear today is so common as online entrepreneurs. This is something that I struggled with for years. What you’re going to hear is our member is feeling discouraged in his business. He runs a really successful membership, and he’s been implementing a lot of things to make changes.
Some things are working, and others he’s not yet seeing the results that he wants to after putting a lot of effort into what he’s doing. Again, like so many of us, he wants to feel like the business is moving forward, and what he’s doing is working.
He equates the feeling of the business and moving forward with the feeling of security, and you’re going to hear Neill coach him through the fact that we cannot out-action feelings of insecurity. It has to start with our thoughts.
The last quarter of the call moves into how our member here is measuring his self-worth based on other people’s actions, based on other businesses and their successes, which is really common with us online entrepreneurs. I’m raising my hand right now because I did this same thing for years.
I think you’re going to get a lot out of this coaching that you’re about to hear. And by the way, a special thank you to our Accelerator member who gave us permission to use this part of the coaching call with all of you here on the podcast.
By the way, if you are interested in learning more about our Accelerator coaching program, this is for established online course creators; maybe you have a membership program, or you’re an online coach, or maybe all three. By established, I mean you’re doing at least 100K per year in your online business. You’re looking to scale, you’re looking to take things to the next level. We can help you create more profit, more impact with less. This is exactly what we’re helping people do inside of Accelerator every single day.
So, if you want to learn more and apply—it’s application only—just go to RickMulready.com/Accelerator.
Alright, without further ado, let’s jump into this coaching call.
I feel like my outlook recently has been a little bit like discouraged.
Like I’m in the implementing a lot of new things in my business to try to solve problems. And some of them are working then there’s some of them where I’m like, oh, I like really put a lot of effort into that. And I’m not sure that I’m seeing the result. And I feel like my mindset is like, I know I’m spending too much time.
I think feeling like this sucks or rather than like being excited about, oh, I just figured out like, well, if I think about what a more healthy way to look at, it would be maybe is like, oh, well, I just learned that that’s not quite going to work so I can continue finding another solution to the problem.
And I wouldn’t be able to find the solution unless I had done this particular thing, but, Yeah. So any thoughts around that?
Yeah, let’s see if we can get, an example. So like what’s one thing that you’ve tried recently that you feel like you’re feeling maybe discouraged about.
So I’ve been like trying to get my churn on my membership down. it’s it’s like average is like 6.2, 5%, averages, like over the last year, I’ve been trying to get it down. And so I’ve tried some things like changing my onboarding sequence, creating quick, like a quick win course for new members and things like that.
And I feel like it’s not nothing, I’m not really seeing the results yet or, for example, like it’s, it’s especially like poignant because like last month I had like a lot of new members. Yeah. The churn ratio is pretty good, but then like this month, I’m like, why, why is my insurance so high?
So I’m just like, okay, is what I’m doing, working at all. Like, I dunno.
Yeah. Okay. What is the goal to get the turn rate down to?
I mean, I would love to get it down to like 4%.
Okay. So I heard you say you tried two things, change the onboarding sequence and you created a quick win course for new members.
Yeah, like I changed like my new member orientation, like after they sign up for the membership and I’ve changed my welcomes, like email series that I send them to more like address the underlying reasons of why they say they churn basically.
So tell me why you’re feeling discouraged about this.
That you’re not at 4% yet on the turn rate, why discouraged?
So I want to keep more members
And, and that’s totally fine. but why do you want to keep more members? I know this sounds like a dumb question, but just,
Yeah. I mean, I want the membership to grow. Like, I mean, I feel like I’m hitting this point where it’s like growth is slow because it’s like the, the number of people coming in versus the number leaving is not like the exponential growth I was experiencing like a year ago, basically.
Okay. And so why do we want it to be like that exponential growth?
I want to make more money. I mean, that’s a good question. I think
I’m having a baby in February and my wife might want to take some time off of work for awhile. So it would be nice to make more money to try to like make up for her income. So I guess that’s one reason, but I think like the, the underlying theme for me is always like, I just want to get better. That’s all.
So whether it’s like making more money or like, we talked about this before, like running faster, longer, or just, or just even making a better membership for my members, like just improving always. Right. So if I don’t feel like I’m improving. It’s like a bad feeling for me. Like, I want to feel like I’m moving forward.
If I don’t feel like I’m moving forward, that I feel like not as alive, I guess.
Okay. And how do you know what tells you that you’re moving forward or not?
Well, in this particular case, it’s like just the numbers are saying it. It’s like, oh, you’re able to, like, because of the things that you’ve done, more people want to stay with your membership longer, which means you’re having more of a positive impact. what was the question again?
How do you know that you’re moving forward?
And you said the numbers
They’re telling you the numbers are yeah. The numbers are telling. Yeah, because it will moving forward in that sense of like gaining more members. Increasing revenue. It’s like, you know, you see it. It’s like, yeah,
Yeah, yeah. Here’s, what’s interesting. And you kind of said it a little bit earlier, but it’s basically your litmus test for moving forward is more, more money, more members more.
Yeah. That’s that’s think that’s fair. Yeah.
Yeah. And I’m not saying that that’s wrong. I’m just saying like, when you pause for just a hot second and look at it, how does that feel to you?
I wish it was a healthier mindset. I think like, it would be nicer if I thought of like moving forward as, I don’t know, just enjoying the journey of growing a business rather than like.
Wishing I was at some sort of, you know, self manufactured destination, I guess.
Yeah. And I think it’s just interesting to see, like the thing that is driving you for more and more and more again, we’re not saying that’s wrong, but it is to avoid some kind of icky feeling. You said, like, if you’re not perceiving that you’re moving forward, it feels like a yuck to you.
What is that?
Hmm, oh man. I don’t know. Well, maybe part of it is just like going always to the worst case scenario, right? Like reverting back to some like old Schemos of like, well, I guess they’re not old if I still have them, but of like, oh, if things aren’t going to get better, maybe they’ll get worse and then maybe.
My business will start tanking. Then I’ll have to let somebody go that then. Oh my gosh. Then like, oh, I don’t know. Just like maybe we’ll come crashing, like irrational thoughts and feelings of like things crashing down. So like the security is that if it’s doing better than its and it’s doing better.
You feel more secure if you’re moving forward perception that you’re moving forward? Yes. Okay. Where does security come from?
Yeah, this is kind of a, an interesting one to consider. So what’s happening for you, totally makes sense to me why you have this constant like push, push push. So now, I mean, right now, the thing that we’re talking about is getting the turn rate down from 6.5, two to 4%. And the reason why is, if you can do that, then it will feel like you moving forward.
But because that hasn’t moved the needle, hasn’t moved to that 4%, you’re feeling discouraged. Like you’re not moving forward or at least not moving forward. Fast enough.
Yeah. Yes. That’s accurate.
Yeah. And so I kind of just wanted to check in with like, why does this matter? And it matters because you have this idea that I will be secure if I get to this imaginary finish line that I’ve created for myself.
Right, but I keep moving forward.
Yeah. It definitely keeps moving forward.
Here’s the, here’s the finish line for the half marathon, but I just decided once I got to the half marathon, that’s not good enough. So now I’m going to move, I’m going to do full marathon
And then guns gotten there. You guys have the sign ups at the end of the half marathons and I’m like, no, no, I’m not going to tear it.
Right. So notice that the reason that you, that you’re doing this, like the constant need for moving forward and forward and forward is because you’re trying to out action your way out of the feeling of insecurity. You think if you do enough things, if you make enough progress forward, you will then somehow find security at the end.
Yeah. I think that’s pretty
Accurate. So it’s important to see this. This is true for many high achieving individuals that we think we have. There’s some way we can like outwork our negative feelings. And the reason that we do that is because it actually works for a little while. But what happens is you notice that it comes back, it’s like recycled, then something happens.
Something’s not the way you think that it should be. And you interpret it as I’m not moving forward. As fast as I should. Then you start to have a feeling of insecurity. Then you do a bunch of stuff to try and outwork that feeling of insecurity and for a hot second you’ll feel secure. And then you’ll be like, wait a minute.
Now I, I lost it again. Right? So it’s this cycle. So the way to solve the cycle is to not out action. You’re like take action to try and feel better. It’s to solve the thinking. That’s creating the insecure feeling in the first place.
How do I do that?
I know I’m going to, I’m going to help you with it, but I want you to first see that that is like, if you want to solve this once and for all we that’s the piece we have to tackle.
Well, I would like to solve it. Yeah. Yeah. That’d be
Helpful. Yeah. So if like, what would happen if you didn’t move forward, it all in your business? Like, what if I told you, bro, I want you to just create the same exact thing that you did this year. Next year, you don’t get to do more. Oh, happened for you in your mind.
It’d be like scratching a chalkboard. So like. it’s like I’m in a boat in the middle of the ocean. And instead of like paddling to get to the UK or wherever, I’m just like, I’m just going to sit there for a year. I’m not going to move. Well, probably move the waves will push me around, but it wouldn’t feel good I think, because it just, it doesn’t feel like I’m yeah. It doesn’t feel like I’m progressing.
Yeah. And why is, why does it matter that you’re not progressing?
Well, I think it’s tied in with my self worth a bed. It’s like, this sucks, like how successful I am and what I do is tied into the way I feel about myself.
Tell me a little bit more about that.
How does, how successful you are determine your self-worth?
Well, I mean, and again, I don’t necessarily think, well, here’s a great example. So I’m a musician. So before I started my business, I was just a performing musician. So how good of a musician? I was, it wasn’t about necessarily being wealthier because me or none of my colleagues were, but my self worth was so tied into how well I actually play my instrument.
And then how well others perceive that I play my instrument. Like, do they want to play with me? Do they want to call me for gigs? So. I dunno, am I, I’m trying to figure out how to answer your question or just talking in a circle.
So I really was trying to get at what is your definition of self-worth and here’s what I think you just told me is you, your self worth is dependent on your judgment and opinion of your performance and others judgment and opinion of your performance.
Your self worth is tied up in your performance, whether you’re a musician or you’re an entrepreneur. Yes. You see how that has come in. Like you took that way of thinking as a performer, as a musician, and you brought that way of thinking into your business as an entrepreneur, right?
So now your self-worth as a business owner is tied up in the performance of your business.
Yes. Like, oh, like if I made less money this year than last year, it’s not necessarily that I’d be like, so mad about, oh crap. Now I can’t go on that vacation with my wife or something. Like, it wouldn’t be, it wouldn’t necessarily be that it would just be like, oh, like I’m not doing as well.
Like things wrong with me. Yeah. Perhaps I’m like, yeah. There’s something that I’m not doing right. That everybody else is doing. Right. So there’s something inherently wrong with what I’m doing, I guess.
Yeah. And it’s not even that, the right or wrong. It’s your judgment of yourself and your perception of other people’s judgments of you as a business owner kind of interesting to look at. Yeah.
Well, yeah, no, it’s very interesting. Disturbingly. Interesting.
I think it’s something that we’re socialized to believe. It’s true. Yeah.
I don’t know if I feel like I’m unique per se, like these are unique feelings, but like, I don’t. I just, I have no other frame of reference to, like, that’s not true.
I was about to say I have no frame of reference how else to feel about myself. That’s not, that’s definitely not true, but it would be very, very difficult for me to experience. like you were just describing, like doing nothing, not doing nothing, but just staying completely stagnant and feeling okay with it.
Well, I mean, yeah, I think it goes back to everything we just talked about. It would just feel like I’m not, I don’t know. It’s a hard quit, it’s hard questions.
I know this is hard coaching and it might be something that, you know, we start here and you marinate on a little bit and then we come back to, but here’s what I want you to see the reason why, which is why I asked you about next year.
And if I set the school for you, what would happen for you? Because it gave me a real insight into your mind and what you would make it mean is you would automatically judge that as stagnant performance.
Yeah. Yes, yes.
Right. If I said just set the same goal and I stagnant, which would mean then that somehow my self-worth takes a hit.
Right. And I don’t feel like I would be here in Accelerator if that’s, if I didn’t feel that way. You know what I mean? Like, I wouldn’t have joined this coaching program if I wasn’t like, oh, like, in fact if I really think about it, that’s one of the big, that’s the biggest reason I signed up. I was like, oh, I’m stuck.
And I don’t know how to, I don’t know what to do next. And like, I need someone to help me figure out what to do next. Do you get to like, not be stagnant? So I joined Accelerator and then I got onto the coaching call with Neill
And then Neill comes on. It’s like, let’s just be stagnant.
Here’s what I think is really going to be interesting is to start. Really intentionally thinking about what is the definition that I want to have for success in my business that cannot be anything to do with my self-worth.
Hmm. For my performance.
How’s that? Okay. I guess like, how is that possible? Right. Cause like, Cause like, okay. So if the definition of success, let’s just say, and this is a definition of success is like, well, I want to hear from my members saying like, look, how much of an impact being like your membership had on my musicianship after a year?
Like, right. So it’s like, oh wait, awesome. Like the product is positively impacting people’s lives. I mean, that’s ultimately like the underline, like I wouldn’t be doing it that wasn’t there. My self worth is completely tied into that. It’s like, ah, look what I did for that person. look how great of a teacher I actually am.
And that totally makes sense because your definition of self-worth is it’s dependent on not only your judgment about your performance, but other people’s judgment about your performance, opinions about your performance. So that totally makes sense to me that you’re gauging it that way.
So how, how could I, how could I measure success outside of like, how do I do it? you
Can still measure it by thinking about like impact on people, but not making it mean anything about you. If they do create the results or they don’t, you see the difference.
Yeah, I do. I do.
If we think about your people like your audience, you are a circumstance for them. Like you’re a fact in their worlds and the membership that you offer is a fact for them. Right, right. That has nothing to do with the results that they create. Nothing. What matters is how they think about that and feel about it and what they do with it that determines their results.
So when you’re thinking about like you taking responsibility for whether they have success or they don’t have success, you’re actually not powerful enough to determine their success. Which is an amazing thing and kind of like a want law at the same time. Right. Because what will determine it is what they do with your membership and you don’t have control over what they do with it.
Well, I, I, to a degree, I might like if I teach them how to get results with it.
Yes. But whether they actually do it or not, you don’t have control over, like you can teach them all the things in the world. Right. And you can offer them the most amazing thing. And you probably have a group of people who have created amazing success with it.
And then you probably have people who don’t. Right. Yep. Yep. Yep. Both because the way they think about it, how they feel, what they do will either determine success or no success You are just a peer. You don’t determine this success or failure for them. So I offer this, because if you’re going to want to take responsibility for their success or not, the thing that you’re in danger of then is judging yourself when they don’t get them success that you think that they should have.
Yeah, One way or another.
Yeah, totally. Right. So you can just do your best offer up exactly what you think they need. And I’m not saying like put out a crappy product, which I don’t think you’ve done that obviously, but at the end of the day, it’s up to them, whether they do it or not. So I always think like, I’m, I’m never going to take credit for my students’ success or their failures.
I want to understand them, but not judge myself as the reason for either of them.
And what I’m offering for you is to apply that to you and to your business, what are you thinking?
I guess the idea of like, accepting, well, okay. Maybe it’s not it’s not the direct same thinking, but for example, like there’s some, the reason I said, oh, I want my church to be 4% is because I know of some people in a similar niches as me who is churn is 4%.
Right. So then if I see that my churn is not 4% now I’m going within it is I am responsible for why, like, you know what I mean? There is something wrong with what I’m doing does that. So like, even though I can’t completely control them, like utilizing my my membership so that they get the results, it feels like, well, there must be something I’m doing wrong,
Because what you’ve done is you’ve taken something, somebody else’s business and you’ve compared yours to it. And you’re telling yourself, like, you’re, you’re using it to judge yourself as not being where you should be. You’re not as successful as you should be. Therefore, there’s something wrong with me.
Yes. And you’re probably doing that in lots of different ways. That’s, what’s another really, really great example of showing how you’re doing that. cause you’re constantly trying to find how you don’t measure up so that you can artificially create things to move forward, to make yourself feel like you’re doing a good job.
I think you just nailed it. Yes. Isn’t that
It’s very wild.
You’re like, okay, I’m going to go find somebody who’s doing one little teeny aspect in their business better. I’m gonna use that to beat the out of myself. And then all that will create a thing that I have to meet in order for me to artificially feel better about myself.
Wait a minute. How does this make sense?
Yeah, it doesn’t sound that intelligent when you say it that way.
I know. And I’m a little bit making fun of your brain right now, right? No, it’s good.
Good to do that. Yeah. You see how that’s playing out for you?
Yeah. Yeah, I do. I just, I wish it was easier just to be like, oh yeah, well, that’s not probably the best way to go about it.
So we’ll just like flip that switch and oh, lived happily ever after.
Right. We want like, what everybody wants from me is like, Neill, could you just give me a pill to change this thought in my brain? Right? You’re like, I just want it like this. And I get that. I totally get it. I’m a human too. I have my own that I do the same thing on.
So I understand that completely. But the reality is we have to like work at. And practice it. So, when you’re thinking about making decisions in your business, if you’re thinking about it, instead of like having to judge yourself for anything, if you’re just like, I’m exactly where I should be, I’m going to create any amount of success that I want to, and I’m going to trust myself to support myself.
Even when I fail, like judgment, just like I’m drawing a line in the sand, he could leak, literally decide I’m drawing a line in the sand with myself today on this call. And everyone here is my witness. I will not use any result in my business as a reason to judge myself ever again.
That’s a big commit. Well, what if I don’t make, keep that?
I mean, then you just get coached on why you’re like, oh, I recognize that I did it again. Darn it. Why did I do that? I guess I’ll get coached by Neill and see what ha what happened here. Again, notice how what you’re doing is like, you’re trying to find how you would fail and then judge yourself for failing.
What I’m saying is that’s a beautiful example. Perfect. It’s an opportunity for you to just like lean into supporting yourself, even though you failed on this thing that you said you’re ready to do, it’s totally fine.
You can see how your brain was like, huh? I’m going to try and outsmart her right here.
I don’t think I was intentionally trying out words. No, I wouldn’t be that foolish,
But you know, no, it’s just the way that the brain works. Right. We just can see that neural programming so deeply. Yeah.
Well, I officially make the commitment that I will no longer judge myself based on the results of my business in front of all present.
I do solemnly swear until I fail. And then I go back for coaching again.
Yeah. But I think here’s the deal, if you give yourself this assignments This will forever break your knee to like move forward and move faster and move at this pace because you’ll never have to like outrun your judgments of yourself.
You’ll never have to like success your way out of how you feel about yourself. Just like, yeah, this is what I created. And this part was great. And then this part stops and I’m a human, I like that. You see how much more accepting it would be. And like, it would create a more enjoyable journey for you.
Because he wouldn’t be beating the crap out of yourself along the way. Yeah.
To be clear. I used to be way worse. So, you know, I feel like I have progressed. Yeah.
You’re just at level two. So, we’re going to just like ratchet it up a little bit.
Well, don’t say level two, because that means I have to get to level three.
Okay, no levels for you.
I think for you, what I would really suggest is to just recognize every time you’re judging yourself. It’s like an awareness exercise, “Oh, I see that I was making it mean that I didn’t make this revenue, or my churn rate was,” like you said, it was “really high this month.”
I’m using that to say something about myself, that I’m doing it wrong. If it’s just churn it nothing to do with who I am or my worth. It’s just a number in my business. That’s it. I’m looking at all those as examples of how you can continue to make this commitment to yourself and break this idea that success and self worth have anything to do with each other.
Got it. Thank you. This is going to be amazing.
Thank you for being an example of this, because I know that there are people on this call are people who will watch this and be like, “That’s totally me, too!”
Glad to be the Guinea pig.
Hey, thanks so much, as always, for listening to the podcast, my friend. Go over to Apple Podcasts and make sure to subscribe to the podcast. Also, I’d be super grateful if you would be willing to leave a quick rating and review for the show over there on Apple Podcasts. If you’re listening on Spotify, click that follow button for the podcast.
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